On MSN:

[benjy] says:
it's kind of hard on the head after a while

Tracy says:
you mean to say it becomes mindfuck.

[benjy] says:
well, yeah

My mom made black pepper steak for the first time.

I took one bite and died.

"HOW THE FUCK DID THIS HAPPEN?!??!"

It tasted better than the shit they sell outside.

I want to cook like her!!

Yes. I'm done with that thing. Do you know how long it took me to write that?

...Ten brainless motherfucking minutes.
(okay, I've analysed the source long, long ago.)

Tell me again why I spent three goddamn hours staring at the rubrics telling myself this was too stupid to be attempted?

I'm too fuckin' smart for school.

***

Fuck. Yes. I can't complete my (other) work. Again. As usual.
I don't understand wtf is wrong with my lazy ass.

It's not like the shit is hard. No wtf the shit is bloody mindless. I would just rather enjoy wasting my time away than spend it on this mindless, valueless fuck.

Ok, at least I'm not opening Perfect World to kill everything I see. That would be the desired activity.

***

You know when people talk about other people in conversations, labels are sure to be generated?
It's like how everytime someone mentions Benjy, someone else is bound to go, "Benjy is really nice!"

I wonder what my friends would say about me.

I would like to think that I am a decently nice person,because I do put in effort to be a decent human being.

Have I ever been unreasonable, mean or disagreeable without valid reason?
Okay, so "valid reasons" are open for debate, but I think generally when I'm not hyper I am a mild person.
And if I'm hyper, I'm just irritating as hell.

What will people remember me by?

"Oh, Tracy? She doesn't do her homework."
"She's obsessed with bling." (I get these alot)

I know and expect them because that is what I want you to say. And if these are the only things you can say about me,

1. Good. Keep sayin' it.
2. You have no opinion.

It's amazing how my identity is a huge social construct.

A more opinionated one:

"She's a bimbo/slut/despo"

You should sit in on one of my men bashing sessions.
...It's already July and I haven't had one scandal/relationship?.

Oh wait. I'm too ugly/stupid/despo/whatever reason you like to find a boyfriend.

I'm not drop-dead-gorgeous, but I sure as heck am not as ugly as you put me to be. :/
Though, this whole fiasco to me is like one huge compliment.

***

...and even if I WERE ugly, I'm nice.
(:

***

I'm having a sore throat. And I'm doing nothing about it, in hopes that it will escalate into a fever. Then WTF H1N1 STAY AWAY FROM SCHOOL will happen, and Tracy will be a happy girl again.

Please, antibodies, leave the germs alone.

I'm so damn lazy I think I have gone mad.

From Blocks period:




***

Tea + milk + sugar = Best comfort-it's-okay-if-you-haven't-done-your-work drink.

Green tea + milk + sugar = NO GO.

***

I renamed my blog title. Enjoy.

***

I feel like applying makeup for no reason. It makes me happy.

Anyway, since I can't possibly meet up with all of you guys to show you my piercing, here it is. I know, wtf, I have belly fat. Shut up. I am allowed to be fat.



I'm sorry it's not a half naked camwhore photo. I am just not like that. :/

It's proving to be one hell of a bitch though. High high high maintenance.

***




 

I fell sleep yesterday at 5.30pm, intending to take a one hour nap.

My mom woke me up today at NOON.

"Wtf?!"

That is 18-and-a-half hours. Explains my daoing of all your smses and calls.

***

I think I dreamt like five times, remembering two. They were nice dreams. (:
But dreams somehow betray our innermost, honest desires.

Though, I must say that I was a little surprised.

There isn't a way you can have any semblance of conscious control over yourself in your dreams.

And that is why they were nice dreams. (:

***

I'm listening to Jolin's songs from 2003. They're actually really, really good.
Mandopop is not trash.

***

I am a terrible first prop.

***

Nancy Wu is beautiful. <3

XD

***

FFS, Lewis and I are so not a couple.
I don't even like him.

***

From a random friend's site:
"But, here’s what I think. I think people who are falling in love and putting themselves out there and dating and letting people love them are taking bigger risks than I am. Way bigger. I’m risking failure and maybe looking like an idiot and potentially ruining my career. You’re risking your heart. That’s terrifying to me."

and..

"The past brands us like cattle. The only thing we can hope for is that the scar can lighten and remind us where we’ve been, not identify us forever."


 

I had a restful morning. Really rare stuff, I tell you.

You know where I'm at now? I'm sitting in Wisma Atria Starbucks, on one of those cushy seats that seem to always be occupied. Yes, it is actually possible to secure a seat like this. Weekdays mornings are the best times to go towning.

Wait. What weekday morning? What town?

...yes, I did it again.

So, what am I doing at Starbucks? Trying to do my EoM which was due 8.30am this morning. It's no mystery why I ponned school.

***

It's not my fault I always fall asleep during any econs lesson. It's a guaranteed, instantaneous reaction. Personally, I find the subject rathe rinteresting and applicable, but somehow I always end up dozing. I think my body is trying to tell me something along the lines of an allergy or the like.

***

Keep forcing me to do your shit, and my solution is simply to not turn up. Demerit points hardly bother me. Buddy, what can one point do to me? I've a clean record. And it's not like I'm planning to get another one from my usual activities. Oh, and the home number on ISP is wrong, so save yourself the effort.

***

White chocolate mocha is way to sweet.

***

Stuff have been difficult lately. Maybe that's my cue to go out and byu a tube of lipgloss or something. Though, i'm sure Lulu would disagree.

***


 

Sometimes, I like harmony. I like to be nice, no matter how negative my surroundings can be, like the eye of a hurricane. I believe that little difference I make would go a long way into showing people that I wish only for things to turn out well. I accept because I know it is pointless to challenge some things and it will only lead to unhappiness and conflict.

This is my soft mode.

At other times, I dislike being a pushover. Being nice never gets anything done. 人善被人欺，马善被人骑。 To make things work, you gotta do what you have to. You gotta stand by your views, you gotta stop letting people get away with being stupid. And detaching emotions from the issue/people is by far the most efficient way to deal with it.

This is my hard mode.

***

People are complicated. People can be difficult.
I don't like it when the two modes have to be mixed.

***

I know what my mom would say.
She'd tell me I am born weird, and that I deserve to be lonely and in misery for the rest of my life because I push people away and hate with no reason.

I hate it when she says that.

Because I can't tell if it is true.

***

But I don't hate. Not in the way I once did.
Hatred only destroys you.

That is all it ever does.

***

PS: It's unnerving when people understand you.

Or maybe I'm just not used to it.




 

Alfred's going to jail. ):

***

For maybe the second time in my life, I didn't fall asleep during econs lecture, even though I had a grand total of three hours of sleep last night.

Now before you go popping champagne to celebrate the miracle, let me tell you the reason why I wasn't falling asleep.

...I was writing a debate case.

I was wondering vaguely whether it was a bad thing to do, then I realised it was either I wrote the case or doze off.
I decided to show the teacher some respect and stay awake.

***

Holey fuck, that's alot of work to be completed before tomorrow.

Mr Quek: Tracy, why didn't you do your EOM?
Tracy (in a half dazed drawl): Because I am an irresponsible maggot.

:/ And he's STILL not satisfied.

***

Amelia Chen, you mad bitch, I love you.

***

I am not overreacting.
At least, I didn't start the overreacting chain.

***

My friend asked me, "why are you.. only starting homework at 1?"

I think it's a good question.

I love H1N1. I'll love it more if they suspend school.
The only reason I can find to dislike it with, is that Alfred's locked up in army. ):

Suspend school, but wtf don't lock my coach up!

***

Sometimes, I am way too self-centered.